She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
