There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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