Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
