And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
