Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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