her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
