I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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