my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
