Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
