"it" just moved
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
