Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
