just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
