planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
