pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
