I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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