so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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