He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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