I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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