we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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