Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
