Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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