Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
