I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm just crazy horny about you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
