yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
