I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize