i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
