I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
