I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
