Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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