I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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