so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
