Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
