Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize