it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
