Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
