You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
