In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
