apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
