So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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