sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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