in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
