You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
