I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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