Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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