I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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