Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
