Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
