careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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