i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize