I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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