Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
