My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
