why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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