We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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