i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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