Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
