Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize