I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Text me some of your sweat
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
