i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
