So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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