i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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