Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
