Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
