Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
