**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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