Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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