i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
