If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize