Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
True strength comes from lack of pants
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
