i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
