haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize