She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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