God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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