Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
