When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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