Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
