Dual....:-)
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize