I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
