is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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