i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
