they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
