Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize