People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
